What He Says vs. What I Hear And Why I Get to Wear Sweatpants to Work Tomorrow

by mathhbratt

Hubs and I have both lost weight recently. Last night, I was bemoaning the fact that even though I’ve worked super hard and lost 12.5 pounds, nobody in my circle has mentioned noticing. I don’t even need the, “Have you lost weight?” I would settle for the, “You look really great today (but I can’t pinpoint why)” comment. I brought this up to Hubs last night, and this is how it went…

Me: I’m frustrated nobody has noticed my weight loss yet.

Him: <looks up from his game at me>

Me: I’ve lost 12.5 pounds, and nobody has said anything.

Him: <stares>

Me: I can see my pants are getting too big, but otherwise, I am not even really noticing it.

Him: That’s because you lose it in your butt and your waist. I lose it in my face. That’s why people notice mine.

This seems innocent, benign, and helpful, right? Nope! I walked away from this hearing, “Your face is still fat.”

Why is that? Why can’t I walk away hearing, “Your butt and waist are getting smaller, and I’ve noticed that.”? Instead it’s “Your face is still fat.” sigh!

On another note…

I get to go to work in sweats tomorrow! Yes!!

Our school had this welcome back assembly where I participated as a contestant on “Let’s Make a Deal.” I didn’t have the energy to spend time finding or creating a suitable costume, so I wore my husband’s chef stuff and created this sign (with help from a student):

Notice the pi symbol, cuz I teach math and am super math geeky that way…

I was one of the last contestants. This gave me time to watch and figure out the game. Being a math major, I know all about Game Theory and the Monty Hall Problem, but there were other variables that came into play.

The gal in charge had mentioned to each contestant before me that one of the three options they were presented would have a prize. Each of them won their prize by switching choices along the way. Also, it is important to note that each prize had something to do with news at our school, and the emcee would share that news while “describing” the prize.

When it was my turn, I got to choose between a coffee cup (the to-go kind like from a coffee shop) and something else (can’t remember what it was, cuz coffee). I said into the mic that anyone who knew me knew I would pick the coffee.

In the coffee cup was “dirt.” It actually looked more like sand. As the emcee explained that this “dirt” was from the preschool playground and how fundraising has made it possible to get them turf, I noticed a glimmer of neon green paper in the sand. I knew there was only one prize in the three things I would choose from. Intuition told me that the green paper was going to allow me to wear sweatpants to work one day. But, how would I justify keeping this prize of dirt? I battled the moral dilemma in my mind as the emcee spoke about the playground.

Eventually, the woman in charge (a friend and our vice-principal) asked me if I wanted to keep my cup of dirt or go for what was in the box. I chose to keep my dirt. She immediately knew I must have seen the green that had somehow miraculously risen to the top after she worked so hard to bury it. I felt like I sort of betrayed her, but really, I knew there was only one prize, and I saw the paper in the sand. Why else would there be paper in the sand? Sorry, John Nash, but the green paper tossed your theory to the wind. I knew I had a sure thing.

The gal in charge and the emcee proceeded to talk about the item in the box and the item behind the door. Then the gal in charge said, “Let’s see what is in the dirt!” That’s when she pulled out the green paper. It really could have said anything on it, but sure enough, it said I had won a faculty spirit day! (aka: I get to wear sweat pants and a school t-shirt of my choice to work tomorrow!!)

So, I may have risked alienating my friend and vice-principal a little over my choice, but I got to please an entire faculty (and myself) in the process. Had I thought it through, I would have realized that since everyone knows I would choose the coffee, I could have “saved the best for last” and then been okay on every front, but hindsight.

I get to wear sweats to work tomorrow!!