Random life stuff and how I cope with it.
“I am discouraged. I feel defeated. I am lying here in bed when I should have hit the shower half an hour ago, and I feel anchored to it like I might just not show up to school at all today and let them figure out what the heck to do without me.
I know my brain isn’t working properly yet, and if I give into these feelings, I will likely regret it. I need to pull up my big girl pants and get to that school with a smile on my face for all the students who deserve it.”
Mmmmm, maybe a cognitive therapist isn’t for you? – read the above again from 3rd person and you wonder why you feel deflated and depressed 🙂 Self abuse needs to stop – yes, it’s a cliche, but you need to listen to your feelings. Telling yourself to pull up your big girl pants and get on with it, or trying to silence this part of yourself with melatonin. What about a little kindness and tenderness; sounds like you are fighting a battle within yourself and that’s never easy for any of us.
Sorry, not sure how I found your website, you liked a quote of mine on Twitter, completely unrelated and I am a counsellor and couldn’t silence myself (well I could, but didn’t).
🙂 Sarah (Alice on Twitter)
Thanks. The cognitive therapist is for my brain injury. Most of my current mental state is due to the frontal injury. You are right, that I am probably fighting too hard to keep the things “normal me” would want me to keep for when she comes back. The cognitive therapist and my doctor both wish I could have the time off I need to finish healing, but it isn’t a feasible option for us right now. So I am trying to go through the motions until my brain finally decides to catch up. The melatonin was a suggestion by my doctor (not the cognitive therapist) to help me stay asleep, because my brain healing needs sleep. I wake in the middle of the night due to peri-menopause (been going on for a couple of years, now) and can’t get back to sleep. This was tough before the brain injury. It is a concern for them, because they know my brain needs sleep to heal.
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